Dr Shiam Chuttoo

Why the smallest lie needs feeding all week, and how to tell the truth with kindness.

The phone rings. “Where are you?” “Seven minutes away,” we say, with twenty minutes of road still ahead.

Have you noticed we no longer say five? Seven sounds precise, so it sounds true. Even our small lies have learned to dress smartly. And why seven? Because a lie told on Monday has to be fed every day of the week.

Rajniti ki dosti. Friendship in politics lasts only as long as the grievance that binds it. Small lies work the same way: a bargain with whatever soothes us today, which leaves us quietly dissatisfied tomorrow.

My Lie Formula

LIE = (Fear + Gain) × Ease ÷ Courage

Fear of anger or losing face, and the Gain of time or comfort, push a lie upwards. Ease (“who will ever check?”) multiplies it. Courage is the divider: raise it, and the whole sum shrinks. Next time a lie forms on your tongue, ask which part is biggest today. Usually it is Fear, and naming it loosens its grip.

How a small lie grows

Most people are honest most of the time. Diary studies find a lie or two a day, and a small group of frequent liars tell a large share of them (DePaulo, 1996; Serota and Levine, 2014). Yet a white lie trains the habit. Brain scans at University College London showed that the brain’s alarm grows quieter with every self-serving lie, while the lies grow bigger (Garrett and Sharot, 2016). A real slippery slope.

Picture the week. Monday, the lie is born and the pressure lifts. Tuesday, a second lie guards the first. Thursday, keeping the story straight is tiring work. Saturday, we avoid the people who might ask. Sunday, either the truth finds us, or we find the courage to tell it first. Truth needs no memory. A lie needs a filing cabinet, and we carry it everywhere.

Even a joke lie has two people in it, and only the receiver decides whether it was funny. The BBC’s spaghetti trees of 1 April 1957 made a nation laugh and harmed nobody. A joke that frightens, shames or costs someone money is a lie wearing a party hat.

What the truth gives back

When people were asked to be completely honest for three days, they enjoyed it far more than they expected, and the listeners took the truth better than the speakers had feared (Levine and Cohen, University of Chicago, 2018). Nursing taught me the same. People can bear hard news far better than we fear. What wounds them is discovering later that they were misled.

Truth with kindness: my SPEAK Model

Honesty does not mean saying every thought aloud. The Sanskrit teaching Satyam bruyat, priyam bruyat asks us to speak the truth, and to speak it pleasantly. The French remind us: toute vérité n’est pas bonne à dire.

S	Stop and check your motive: to help, or to win?
P	Pick the time and place: private and calm.
E	Explain facts, not labels: “You arrived forty minutes late,” never “You are unreliable.”
A	Acknowledge feelings: “This may be hard to hear.”
K	Keep the door open: ask for their side and agree what happens next.

“Good bowl!” On the green and at home

A wood finishes two yards short, and out it comes: “Good bowl!” At home, rushed homework earns a “Brilliant!” We mean well, yet praise for what was poor teaches the wrong lesson. Children praised for being clever, instead of for their effort, were even more likely to misreport their scores (Mueller and Dweck, 1998). For the green and the home, I use my TRUE Feedback:

T	Tell what you saw: “That one finished a yard short.”
R	Recognise what was right: “Your line was spot on.”
U	Use one pointer: “Try a little more follow-through.”
E	Encourage the next one: “Same line, a touch more weight.”

Keep “Well bowled!” for the woods that truly earn it, so it still means something. With a child who is in the wrong, separate the child from the act: “I love you, and what you did to your brother was unkind. How could you put it right?”

My Seven-Day Honesty Challenge

Monday: give the real time. Tuesday: say “let me check” before you promise. Wednesday: own a delay early. Thursday: catch your favourite small lie and smile at it. Friday: give one honest compliment. Saturday: SPEAK one hard truth. Sunday: run the Lie Formula on your week.

Kreol	Enn ti manti bizin enn lot manti pou protez li.	A small lie needs another lie to protect it.
Kreol	Laverite pa bizin memwar.	The truth needs no memory.
Hindi	Saanch ko aanch nahin.	Truth fears no fire.
French	Tout finit par se savoir.	Everything comes out in the end.

Our nails and hair grow back, so we tend them week after week without shame. The urge to dodge an awkward truth grows back too. Pick up the scissors calmly, again and again. That is progress.

So when the phone rings and someone asks where you are, try the bravest small sentence of the day: “I’m twenty minutes away.”

Which small lie do you catch yourself telling? Tell me in the comments.

Research I drew on: DePaulo and colleagues (1996); Serota and Levine (2014); Garrett, Lazzaro, Ariely and Sharot, Nature Neuroscience (2016); Levine and Cohen (2018); Mueller and Dweck (1998); Museum of Hoaxes, the Swiss spaghetti harvest (1957).

How I prepare my work. I write as a life coach, lecturer, nurse and social worker, and as a Mauritian in Britain since 1988 who carries Kreol, French, English, Bhojpuri and Hindi. I use every tool available, including books, Google, Microsoft Word and AI such as Claude and ChatGPT. The ideas, models and final word are mine, and every source is credited.

A word of caution. For education and reflection only; not medical, psychological or legal advice. Understand any technique before using it; you are responsible for your own choices. If something here stirs difficult feelings, speak to your GP or a health professional. In the UK you can call NHS 111, or Samaritans free on 116 123. © Dr Shiam Chuttoo 2026. The Lie Formula, the SPEAK Model, TRUE Feedback, the Kreol sayings and the Seven-Day Honesty Challenge are his original work; free to share with credit, other uses by permission. Work record: Ref DSC-2026-LIE-01. Title: The Seven-Minute Lie. Author: Dr Shiam Chuttoo. Created 14 October 2026, shortened 20 October 2026. All rights reserved.