The full guide
The BANYAN Way
Six habits for a grateful heart, a protected peace and a kinder way of leading. A model by Dr Shiam Chuttoo.
The tree that lost its trunk
In the botanic garden at Howrah, across the river from Kolkata, stands the Great Banyan. In 1925 its main trunk rotted and had to be cut away. By rights the tree should have died. It did not. Over the years it had dropped roots from its branches down into the soil, and those roots had thickened into trunks of their own. Today it covers more ground than a football pitch, and from a distance it looks like a whole forest. It is one tree.
I come back to that tree often. Life will take things from all of us: health, people, roles, certainties. What carries us through is what we planted before we needed it. That is the idea behind this model.
The BANYAN Way has three parts. The roots feed you: gratitude, kindness and patience. The trunk holds you steady: protecting your peace and calming your worries. The branches reach out to others: leading in a way that helps people grow roots of their own.
Roots · Habit 1
B: Be thankful
Ask most people for their worries and they will give you ten in a minute. Ask them for ten things that went well this week and the pen slows down. The mind is quick to spot danger. That habit kept our ancestors alive, and it also means good things slip past us unless we train ourselves to notice them.
A root feeds the tree from the soil it already stands in. Gratitude works the same way. It nourishes you from what is already around you: the neighbour who took in your parcel, the friend who rang at the right moment, the morning you woke without pain.
What research tells us. In a 2003 study, psychologists Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough asked people to write down a few things they were grateful for each week. After ten weeks, that group felt more optimistic about the week ahead and reported fewer physical complaints than people who wrote about hassles or ordinary events.
Questions to sit with
- Who has made your life easier this year without being asked?
- When did you last thank someone for something small?
Your seven-day challenge
Each evening, write down three things that went well that day and why they happened. On the seventh day, tell one person, face to face, something you are grateful for about them.
Roots · Habit 2
A: Act kindly
Kindness rarely costs money. Holding a door. Learning someone’s name and using it. Sitting beside a person who is waiting for news. Patients often forget which treatment they were given, yet years later they can tell you exactly who was kind to them.
Every kind act is a small root put down into another person’s life. You may never see it grow. It grows anyway.
What research tells us. Psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky and her colleagues asked students to carry out five acts of kindness a week for six weeks. The students who did all five on a single day showed the clearest rise in happiness, which suggests that kindness lifts us most when we give it our full attention.
Questions to sit with
- Whose kindness do you still remember from years ago?
- Who near you is struggling quietly?
- Are you as kind to yourself as you are to others?
Your seven-day challenge
Do one small, unplanned kindness every day. Choose one day in the week and make it a kindness day: five kind acts between waking and bedtime. Notice how you feel that evening.
Roots · Habit 3
N: Nurture the long view
A banyan root takes years to travel from branch to ground, and more years to thicken into a trunk. Nobody standing under the tree on any single day would see it moving. Yet that slow root is what saved the Great Banyan.
Most of what matters in life grows the same way: health, skill, trust, savings, a good name. Each small choice looks like nothing. Added up over years, those choices become the person you are.
What research tells us. Psychologist Hal Hershfield has found that people who feel close to their future selves make more patient choices. In one of his experiments, people who saw an aged picture of their own face chose to set aside more money for retirement.
Questions to sit with
- What would the person you will be in ten years ask you to start today?
- What habit are you keeping that your future self will pay for?
Your seven-day challenge
Each morning, ask yourself: what will I thank myself for a year from now? Then do one small thing towards it before lunch. On the seventh day, write a short letter to yourself, dated one year ahead, and put it somewhere safe.
Trunk · Habit 4
Y: Your peace is yours
The trunk carries the weight of the whole tree. If it bent to every gust of wind it would crack. Your peace works the same way. When every request becomes a yes and every worry of every person becomes yours to carry, something eventually gives.
Protecting your peace means two things. First, clear and kind limits: saying no without long apologies, and leaving room in your week for rest. Second, careful sharing. Not every plan, hurt or private matter belongs with everyone. Some things are for the few people who have earned your trust, and some are for you alone.
What research tells us. Psychologist Sabine Sonnentag has studied what she calls psychological detachment: switching off mentally from work during free time. People who manage it report better wellbeing and less exhaustion, and they stay just as engaged when they return to work.
Questions to sit with
- What do you keep saying yes to that you would rather decline?
- Who leaves you feeling lighter, and who leaves you drained?
- What have you shared in the past that you wish you had kept to yourself?
- How would a kind, clear no sound in your own words?
Your seven-day challenge
Choose one limit you want to keep this week and write down the exact sentence you will use. Practise it out loud. Then give yourself one hour each evening with the phone in another room.
Trunk · Habit 5
A: Anchor the worried mind
Worry is the mind running ahead into a future that has not happened yet, and rehearsing every way it could go wrong. An anchor does not stop the sea moving. It stops the boat drifting with it. In the same way, you cannot switch worry off, but you can learn to bring yourself back to the present moment, which is the only place anything can actually be done.
What research tells us. In 2010, Matthew Killingsworth and Daniel Gilbert at Harvard used a phone app to check in with thousands of people during their day. Their minds were wandering almost half the time, and people were less happy when their minds wandered than when they were focused on what they were doing.
Questions to sit with
- Which of your worries can you act on today, and which can you not?
- How many of last year’s worries actually came true?
- Where in your body do you feel worry first?
Your seven-day challenge
Set yourself a fifteen-minute worry window at the same time each day. When a worry arrives outside it, jot it down and tell yourself you will deal with it at the window. When your mind races, anchor it by naming five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell and one you can taste.
If worry is with you most days and is getting in the way of sleep, work or relationships, please speak to your GP. Help is available and it works.
Branches · Habit 6
N: Nourish others
The branches are where the banyan does its most remarkable work. They drop roots that become new trunks, so the tree keeps spreading long after its first trunk is gone. Good leaders do the same. They measure themselves by how many people around them have grown strong enough to stand on their own.
This is built from daily habits. Listen before you speak. Praise in public and correct in private. Share credit generously and take blame quietly. Ask people what they need, then make it easier for them to do good work.
What research tells us. When Google studied 180 of its own teams in a project called Aristotle, the factor that mattered most was psychological safety: people’s belief that they could speak up, ask questions or admit a mistake without being punished for it.
Questions to sit with
- Who grew because you were in their life?
- Do people around you feel safe to tell you bad news?
- Who could you prepare to take your place one day?
Your seven-day challenge
Each day, ask one person: what do you need from me? Act on at least one answer this week. Before the week ends, thank someone publicly for work that usually goes unnoticed.
Growing your own banyan
Take one habit a week for six weeks, starting with the roots. When you reach the branches, go back to the beginning. Each time round, the roots go a little deeper.
“Grow your roots before you need them.”
The BANYAN Way is my own model, devised by Dr Shiam Chuttoo, life coach. You are welcome to share it for personal and educational use, with credit. For the free printable booklet, email shiamduth@outlook.com.
